Confronting Sin
It’s an unfortunate fact, but there comes a time when another brother or sister in Christ will sin against us. In this world, tempers are always at the ready and many fail to listen when others are trying to explain the sin against them. With all of this, it makes it difficult to handle this situation in a way that exemplifies Christ. So how should members of the Body of Christ handle a situation where one sins against another? The Church should be united when it comes to Biblical aspects, but what about personal differences? How should we handle that? Matthew chapter 18 gives us the guidelines for how to respond when this occurs.
“15 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.] 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”
Matthew 18:15-17
Here we see that there are several steps to take when a brother or sister sins against you. The first step is to go to the brother or sister and discuss with them what occurred that caused a disagreement. This means that the matter should first be handled privately. We are called to build one another up, not to tear each other down and when we gossip that is exactly what we are doing. “A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.” Proverbs 16:28 “26 If anyone thinks himself to be religious, yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this person’s religion is worthless.” James 1:26. By first handling the matter with only those involved, you have a better chance that they will listen to you and a solution will be reached.
However, there are times where after handling the situation on a one on one basis a solution is not reached. The second step that must be taken is to have one or two others to be a part of the discussion. This is not to gossip, but to ensure that a testimony is set regarding the situation. This comes from Deuteronomy 19, which discusses the role of a witness. “15 One witness is not enough to convict anyone accused of any crime or offense they may have committed. A matter must be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.” Deuteronomy 19:15. From my past work in the legal field, I have seen cases that turned rather ugly because they were “He said, she said” cases. Without witnesses, it is almost impossible to determine who is telling the truth. If one on one discussions fail, having others present as you attempt to work out a solution will ensure that a record is kept so that neither side can change their arguments. Additionally, having others present allows the ability for outside viewers to see the situation and possibly help find a way to bring the person out of their sin and back into communion with the group.
If this still fails to bring about a solution, the next step is to take the matter before the Church. What this means is to bring the matter to those who it concerns. For example, if there is a family disagreement, only members of the family should be involved. The church in this passage is the members of the church body who the issue concerns. This does not mean that you air out your dirty laundry and bring the matter to the attention of those who it does not concern. This will only inevitably lead to members taking sides and causing further discord in the church.
If the person still fails to leave their sin, there is only one outcome which for many is hard to do. If after attempting to make the situation right one on one, with witnesses, and with the body of Christ present, a solution still hasn’t been meet; the only outcome is to have no contact with them. At this point the situation is beyond what you can feasibly do. It does not mean that we are to harbor anger, but in order to prevent the situation from escalading more, space needs to be given.
Matthew 18 gives us a clear outline in how we should respond when a brother or sister sins against us. Each of the steps given are to bring the brother or sister back into the fold and to exemplify Christ. It is only if after all measures have been taken is a brother or sister supposed to be sent out from the body of Christ, and even this is meant to bring them back to Christ and repent of their sins.
Seek the truth and encourage one another,
Alex