Proverbs 31 Man?
Many talk of Proverbs 31 as being the Proverb directed to women. However, have you ever examined the Proverbs 31 man? While undoubtedly the chapter is directed more towards women, there is application for men here as well. Many men looking for wives state they want a Proverbs 31 women. As if one will just appear with a sign stating they are such. What they fail to realize is the man is what helps build the environment, support, and structure as a team for the Proverbs 31 women to come about. Today, we will examine the first seven verses while next week we will continue. Let us examine and see how the man’s actions, while subtle, speak volumes.
Proverbs 31:1-7 “1 The words of King Lemuel, the oracle which his mother taught him: 2 What, O my son? And what, O son of my womb? And what, O son of my vows? 3 Do not give your strength to women, Or your ways to that which destroys kings. 4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel, It is not for kings to drink wine, Or for rulers to desire strong drink, 5 For they will drink and forget what is decreed, And pervert the rights of all the afflicted. 6 Give strong drink to him who is perishing, And wine to him whose life is bitter. 7 Let him drink and forget his poverty And remember his trouble no more.”
Right from the beginning, we realize that the audience is actually to a man. We see that he is listening to his mother who is a righteous women and is listening to what a virtuous woman should be. This is a wonderful promise to single mothers out there that they can help their sons become the men they need to be when they use the Bible. The same can be said of a single father with a daughter, just look at Ester. However, here we see their relationship is both focused on God. The son wants to learn what the Lord is teaching, and the mother is wanting to show what the Lord has instructed her to teach. “1 The words of King Lemuel, the oracle which his mother taught him: 2 What, O my son? And what, O son of my womb? And what, O son of my vows?”
Undoubtedly the very first thing she points to her son is what so many men have struggle with today. Sexual purity. Pornography is a systemic plague that is all throughout the church. Mission Frontiers state that, “57% of pastors say porn addiction is the most damaging issue in their congregation. 69% say porn has adversely impacted the church.” I personally believe this number is incorrect, and closer to 80%. How can a man expect a wife to be pure and focused if a man cannot be himself? The very first characteristic that man is identified with in Proverbs 31 is sexual purity. “3 Do not give your strength to women, Or your ways to that which destroys kings.” How can a wife be the partner and help mate they were designed to be if the man is not even faithful to her?
However, the next characteristic is found in verses 4-5, “It is not for kings, O Lemuel, It is not for kings to drink wine, Or for rulers to desire strong drink, 5 For they will drink and forget what is decreed, And pervert the rights of all the afflicted.” Alcohol is not a sin, this is not a post arguing for or against having a responsible drink. What this is saying, is in regards to those who drink too much. Those who it becomes a focus or something needed to calm down. I once had a pastor tell me that he longed for the night where he could tell his kids to go to bed and he could enjoy a cold one on the back porch. I was even further shocked that the pastor then told me that his wife would leave him alone while he had his cold one. This was the highlight of his day. Instead of the Lord, instead of being with his wife and/or helping his children’ his desire was a “cold one” without them around. As time continued other issues with the pastor soon materialized, his wife having to be corrected by non-believers for abusive language to her children and her husband’s strange focus on material beauty and social media. Whether we like it or not, as husbands we are under a microscope with our wives and children watching us. We are to be the example of Christ to them. And when we mess up, we are to reveal more of God’s character and reveal how much God loves us by forgiving us. When our lives are focused on drinking we lose focus on God.
Ironically, we are given an example of what the characteristics are of those who take to alcohol easily. What are the results? This can be seen in verses 6-7. “6 Give strong drink to him who is perishing, And wine to him whose life is bitter. 7 Let him drink and forget his poverty And remember his trouble no more.” Our first one is “Give strong drink to him who is perishing” this means a person who is literally dying, to help them ease the pain of death. Do we need this as living breathing believers? I hope not. This can also mean to those whose life is already perishing, or those who are not saved. Next characterstic is “and wine to him whose life is bitter.” The world loves to make alcohol seem as a great time, a time of fun and enjoyment. When in fact virtually all places that focus on alcohol as a main theme, is most likely not a place for a Christian man to be.
“Let him drink and forget his poverty” Drinking is one of the fastest ways to have financial problems. The world decrees that it will help you not be as stressed, it is why the mother states in a mocking fashion, “and remember his trouble no more.” She is declaring that the ones who are in the bar day in/day out complaining about the world or their life sorrows, have no real desire to find a solution. No man should be in such a state who is following the Lord. Now I know there might be a reader who might be saying, “I am sexually pure and I don’t have an alcohol issue so that puts me in the clear.” I would encourage you to come back next week as we continue to see what a Proverbs 31 man is characterized as. If this sounds like I am being too harsh, please forgive me, I am passionate and recognize the stakes that are set before us. We need Proverbs 31 women in our lives, but how can we as men expect that when we fail to recognize the Proverbs 31 man. I believe it is missed for two reasons. A good leader is someone who is able to help and pick up those around him. She cannot do what she needs to do without him. Second, God reveals that our reward is clearly stated as what she is called to be. I hope you continue with me in this study as we reflect on the not so subtle Proverbs 31 man.
Hold until relieved, our Blessed Hope is coming,
JL